Da Tao of Jizz
How To Stay On The Highjizz Path
Jizztroduction
Welcumeto "Da Tao of Jizz: How to Stay on the Highjizz Path," a delightful and irreverent journey into the heart of The Big Jizz Theory. This parody of the Tao Te Ching is filled with jizz terminology and humor, offering a fresh, playful perspective on ancient wisdom. By embracing the principles of love, interconnectedness, and synergy, you'll learn how to navigate the jizzulations of life with grace, humor, and a whole lot of jizz. So, relax, let go of your preconceived notions, and dive into the jizzful journey ahead!
Chapter 1: Jizz and the Jizzless
The Tao that can be told is not the eternal Tao. The name that can be named is not the eternal name. The nameless is the beginning of heaven and earth. The named is the mother of ten thousand things. Ever desireless, one can see the mystery. Ever desiring, one can see the manifestations. These two spring from the same source but differ in name; this appears as darkness. Darkness within darkness. The gate to all mystery.
Chapter 2: Embracing Duality
Under heaven all can see beauty as beauty only because there is ugliness. All can know good as good only because there is evil. Being and non-being produce each other. The difficult is born in the easy. Long is defined by short, the high by the low. Before and after go along with each other. So the wise soul stays on the highjizz path and teaches without words, performs without actions.
Chapter 3: Jizznomy
Not exalting the gifted prevents quarreling. Not collecting treasures prevents stealing. Not seeing desirable things prevents confusion of the heart. The wise soul governs by emptying hearts and filling bellies, weakening ambitions and strengthening bones. Practice not-doing, and everything will fall into place.
Chapter 4: The Uncarved Jizz
The Tao is like a well: used but never used up. It is like the eternal void: filled with infinite possibilities. It is hidden but always present. I don’t know who gave birth to it. It is older than God.
Chapter 5: The Jizzpot
Heaven and Earth are impartial; they see the ten thousand things as straw dogs. The wise soul is impartial; he sees the people as straw dogs. The space between heaven and earth is like a bellows. The shape changes but not the form. The more it moves, the more it yields. Hold on to the center.
Chapter 6: The Valley Spirit
The valley spirit never dies; it is the woman, primal mother. Her gateway is the root of heaven and earth. It is like a veil barely seen, use it; it will never fail.
Chapter 7: Selflessness
Heaven and earth last forever. Why do heaven and earth last forever? They are unborn, so ever living. The wise soul stays behind, thus he is ahead. He is detached, thus at one with all. Through selfless action, he attains fulfillment.
Chapter 8: Jizz of Water
The best way to live is to be like water. For water benefits all things and goes against none of them. It provides for all and even cleanses those places a man is loath to go. In this way it is just like the Tao.
Chapter 9: Retiring
Fill your bowl to the brim and it will spill. Keep sharpening your knife and it will blunt. Chase after money and security and your heart will never unclench. Care about people’s approval and you will be their prisoner. Do your work, then step back. The only path to serenity.
Chapter 10: Jizzful Embrace
Can you coax your mind from its wandering and keep to the original oneness? Can you let your body becum supple as a newborn child’s? Can you cleanse your inner vision until you see nothing but the light? Can you love people and lead them without imposing your will? Can you deal with the most vital matters by letting events take their course? Can you step back from your own mind and thus understand all things?
Chapter 11: Jizzful Utility
Thirty spokes share the wheel’s hub; It is the center hole that makes it useful. Shape clay into a vessel; It is the space within that makes it useful. Cut doors and windows for a room; It is the holes which make it useful. Therefore benefit comes from what is there; Usefulness from what is not there.
Chapter 12: Jizzful Moderation
The five colors blind the eye. The five tones deafen the ear. The five flavors dull the taste. Racing, chasing, hunting, drives people crazy. Trying to possess rare treasures brings about harmful behavior. Therefore the wise soul watches over the belly and not the eye. Hence, he discards one and takes the other.
Chapter 13: Embracing Simplicity
Accept disgrace willingly. Accept misfortune as the human condition. What does it mean to accept disgrace willingly? To accept being unimportant. Do not be concerned with loss or gain. This is called “accepting disgrace willingly.” What does it mean to accept misfortune as the human condition? Misfortune cums from having a body.
Chapter 14: Beyond Perception
Look, it cannot be seen—it is beyond form. Listen, it cannot be heard—it is beyond sound. Grasp, it cannot be held—it is intangible. These three are indefinable; Therefore they are joined in one. From above it is not bright; From below it is not dark: An unbroken thread beyond description. It returns to nothingness. The form of the formless, The image of the imageless, It is called indefinable and beyond imagination.
Chapter 15: The Ancients
The ancient masters were subtle, mysterious, profound, responsive. The depth of their knowledge is unfathomable. Because it is unfathomable, All we can do is describe their appearance. Watchful, like men crossing a winter stream. Alert, like men aware of danger. Courteous, like visiting guests. Yielding, like ice about to melt. Simple as uncarved blocks of wood. Hollow like caves. Opaque like muddy pools.
Chapter 16: Jizzful Stillness
Empty your mind of all thoughts. Let your heart be at peace. Watch the turmoil of beings, but contemplate their return. Each separate being in the universe returns to the common source. Returning to the source is serenity. If you don’t realize the source, you stumble in confusion and sorrow. When you realize where you come from, you naturally becum tolerant, disinterested, amused, kindhearted as a grandmother, dignified as a king.
Chapter 17: Leading by Example
The best leaders are those the people hardly know exist. The next best is a leader who is loved and praised. The next is one who is feared. The worst is one who is despised. If you don’t trust the people, they will becum untrustworthy. The best leaders value their words, and use them sparingly. When he has accomplished his task, the people say, “Amazing: we did it, all by ourselves!”
Chapter 18: Jizzful Simplicity
When the great Tao is forgotten, goodness and piety appear. When the body’s intelligence declines, cleverness and knowledge step forth. When there is no peace in the family, filial piety begins. When the country falls into chaos, patriotism is born.
Chapter 19: Jizzful Simplicity
Give up sainthood, renounce wisdom, and it will be a hundred times better for everyone. Give up kindness, renounce morality, and men will rediscover filial piety and love. Give up ingenuity, renounce profit, and bandits and thieves will disappear. These three are the crux of the matter, but to embrace simplicity, to make the world your model, to make fewer your desires.
Chapter 20: Jizzful Acceptance
Give up learning, and put an end to your troubles. Is there a difference between yes and no? Is there a difference between good and evil? Must I fear what others fear? What nonsense! Other people are contented, enjoying the sacrificial feast of the ox. I alone seem listless and still. I am like a baby who has not yet learned to smile. I am like an idiot, my mind is so empty.
Chapter 21: Jizz in Harmony
The greatest virtue is to follow the Tao and the Tao alone. The Tao is elusive and intangible. Oh, it is intangible and elusive, and yet within it is form. Oh, it is hidden and dark, and yet within it is the life. The life within it is the light of life. Since the beginning, its name has not been forgotten. Through it all things have their being. How do I know the ways of all things at the beginning? I look inside myself and see what is within me.
Chapter 22: Jizz of Paradoxes
If you want to becum whole, let yourself be partial. If you want to becum straight, let yourself be crooked. If you want to becum full, let yourself be empty. If you want to be reborn, let yourself die. If you want to be given everything, give everything up. The Jizz Master, by residing in the Tao, sets an example for all beings. Because he doesn’t display himself, people can see his light.
Chapter 23: Natural Jizz
Express yourself completely, then keep quiet. Be like the forces of nature: When it blows, there is only wind; When it rains, there is only rain; When the clouds pass, the sun shines through. If you open yourself to the Tao, you are at one with the Tao and you can embody it completely. If you open yourself to insight, you are at one with insight and you can use it completely.
Chapter 24: Humble Jizz
He who stands on tiptoe doesn’t stand firm. He who rushes ahead doesn’t go far. He who tries to shine dims his own light. He who defines himself can’t know who he really is. He who has power over others can’t empower himself. He who clings to his work will create nothing.
Chapter 25: The Infinite Jizz
There was something formless and perfect before the universe was born. It is serene, empty, solitary, unchanging, infinite, eternally present. It is the mother of the universe. For lack of a better name, I call it the Tao. It flows through all things, inside and outside, and returns to the origin of all things. The Tao is great, the universe is great, the earth is great, the human is great. These are the four great powers. Human follows the earth. Earth follows the universe. The universe follows the Tao. The Tao follows only itself.
Chapter 26: The Heavy Jizz
The heavy is the root of the light. The unmoved is the source of all movement. Thus the Jizz Master travels all day without leaving his cart. However brilliant the views, he stays serenely in himself. Why should the lord of ten thousand chariots act lightly in public? To be light is to lose one’s root. To be restless is to lose one’s control.
Chapter 27: Jizzful Paradox
A good traveler has no fixed plans and is not intent upon arriving. A good artist lets his intuition lead him wherever it wants. A good scientist has freed himself of concepts and keeps his mind open to what is. Thus the Jizz Master is available to all people and doesn’t reject anyone. He is ready to use all situations and doesn’t waste anything. This is called embodying the light.
Jizzclusion
"Da Tao of Jizz" is your humorous, sexy, and enlightening guide to navigating the jizzulations of life. By embracing the principles of The Big Jizz Theory, you can learn to live with more love, connection, and joy. Remember, the path to enlightenment is filled with laughter and jizz. So, let go of your fears, embrace the jizzful journey, and stay on the highjizz path. May the jizz be with you!